Man Inserts Cotton Bud Too Far Into Ear, Accidentally Resets Himself To Factory Settings



A middle-aged man from Waterford is experiencing a rare form of memory loss after inserting a cotton swab deep into his ear that he ended up resetting himself to factory setting. 28-year-old Simon Mannigan has since lost all the basic skills such as walking, speaking and eating independently requiring him to relearn all of them again like a toddler.
Experts are still dumbfounded by the mystery, trying to piece together how a grown man is engrossed with putting plastic shapes into the right holes on top of the container. His wife Stephanie shared his story about the fateful accident.

“He really just wanted to clean his ears – he does it all the time, even though I am always telling him you’re not supposed to use cotton buds for that. However, this time he suddenly broke down and started babbling incoherently. I hadn’t a clue what was wrong with him.”

To help unravel the mystery, a team of expert doctors and psychologists placed a call placed on Eir's helpdesk to observe his response. “It seems that the patient hit a trigger point towards the end the ear canal.

This point was previously unknown to science, but he must have pressed it for approximately ten seconds to reset set all his motor and cognitive skills back to factory settings”, explained Michael Grogan, the neurologist leading the team."So now he is basically a new-born baby.”

Grogan believes that there is no hope for a speedy recovery and Michael will have to learn all his skills from scratch. “Our initial attempts at treatments using approaches like electrotherapy and hypnotherapy have not yet been successful. It appears that Sebastian has not backed up his data at all since birth and thus will, unfortunately, have to learn everything again from scratch.” It is expected that it will take around 20 years for the patient to return to being his old self.

Stephanie, however, has not been discouraged by the poor prognosis and instead chooses to focus on the positive part of the outcome.“Well, you know, I have always wanted children. And who would not leap at the opportunity to re-educate their partner according to their own wishes?” Suddenly, there is an unpleasant smell. “Oh, would you excuse me now? I need to change Simon’s nappy.”

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